


Paint By Numbers

by biscuitsandgravy



Category: Free!
Genre: Lost-suke appears, M/M, Makoto thinks of everything, Sousuke is recovering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-06
Updated: 2015-06-14
Packaged: 2018-04-03 04:09:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4086112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/biscuitsandgravy/pseuds/biscuitsandgravy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Makoto visits Sousuke in the hospital, at Rin's request. He's not nervous, no, not at all!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Friday and Sunday

It started with a text message from Rin on a Friday in late February.

 

**Can you do me a favor?** (13:25) was all it said. By itself, it wasn’t unusual. Ever since moving to Australia, Rin had asked his friends for several small favors- like mailing him some milk bread, or buying a birthday present for Gou because he’d forgotten to send one in time. 

 

It came as no surprise to anyone that Makoto was the most reliable person to ask for a favor, so it came as no surprise to Makoto when Rin asked for one. 

 

**Sure! What can I do?** (13:30)

 

Makoto then received several texts in short succession:

 

**Sousuke had shoulder surgery Wednesday** (13:32)

 

**And didn’t tell me until today** (13:32)

 

**But I can’t plan for time off without two week’s notice** (13:32)

 

**So could you check in on him in my place?** (13:32)

 

**He’s at a hospital in Tokyo** (13:33)

 

Makoto still wasn’t especially close to Sousuke; they didn’t appear to have much in common, other than their similar build and mutual friendship with Rin. But, Makoto could only imagine how worried Rin must be, especially after Sousuke ignored his injury for months, just so that he could bond with Rin again. Rin probably felt at least partially responsible.

 

**Send me the address and let him know I’ll be coming. I’d be happy to visit him for you.** (13:34)

 

Rin’s next message just said _thank you_. The one after that informed Makoto that Rin would let him know when Sousuke would be ready for visitors.

 

———

 

Makoto would visit on Sunday afternoon. The private hospital where Sousuke was recovering was a bit out of Makoto’s usual route, but he used the train ride to do some reading for an upcoming class discussion.

 

He was only moderately nervous.

 

Even though he had no reason to be- Sousuke gave off an intimidating aura, but he’d shown in the past to care deeply for his friends. Plus, there’s no way Makoto would be intimidated by someone only two centimeters taller than himself. Especially since that person would probably be lying down.

 

_Maybe it was the hospital,_ Makoto reasoned as he walked through the lobby. Even though the lobby looked more like it belonged on the ground floor of a modern hotel, there was still an underlying memory of the time Haru had been admitted with influenza after falling in the river.

 

“Good afternoon,” Makoto greeted the attendant at the front desk, bowing. “I’m looking for Yamazaki Sousuke.”

 

“Ah, he’s in room 233,” the attendant said with a smile. “I’m sure he’ll be happy to see a friend.” Makoto thanked her and walked away. Her comment made Makoto wonder if Sousuke didn’t have other friends to visit him. Of course, it was also likely that none of them knew- if he hadn’t told Rin until days after the surgery, he probably hadn’t told any others. 

 

As Makoto approached the hospital room, he still felt a little anxious that Sousuke would be asleep, or annoyed at his presence. But, if Sousuke had given Rin the hospital’s information as well as when he could see visitors, would he mind if that visitor was Makoto?

 

The door to room 233 was ajar and Makoto could hear the television on inside, but he still knocked and waited for a grunted “come in” before opening the door the rest of the way.

 

As predicted, Sousuke did look annoyed, but Makoto chalked that up partially due to his natural expression. Sousuke barely looked away from the TV when Makoto entered. He was reclining in bed, his upper half propped up. Makoto could only see his left side, which did not appear to be the shoulder that had been operated on.

 

“Makoto,” he said, as if he was just stating a fact. Yes, Makoto was here now. But, Makoto noticed noticed that he didn’t exactly sound disappointed.

 

“Good afternoon, Sousuke. Are you feeling well?” Makoto asked. Sousuke snorted humorlessly in response and turned back to the TV, looking annoyed again. It was then that Makoto noticed how bulky the bandage around his right shoulder was, with a tube for venting protruding from his collarbone and trailing to a machine, and the rest of his right arm secured in a sling. Sousuke’s right had was essentially touching his left hip. It didn’t look comfortable.

 

In Makoto’s defense, most of Sousuke’s annoyance was probably due to the fact that his entire right arm seemed almost immobilized. 

 

It was at that point that Makoto realized he was just standing in the doorway, blatantly staring at Sousuke’s bandages. His hands were clasped in front of him, because he was so distracted he forgot where his hands usually go. 

 

“You don’t have to just stand there,” Sousuke said, without looking away from the TV. Makoto noticed a chair on Sousuke’s left side.

 

“Is it okay if I sit?” Makoto asked, still not sure if he should. Sousuke raised an eyebrow and finally turned his head to Makoto, blinking owlishly. Makoto took that as a yes. He was impressed at how much Sousuke could convey just by blinking. He and Haru were similar in that regard.

 

At any rate, Makoto thanked him and took his seat, removing his backpack. Sousuke didn’t exactly seem eager to chat, so Makoto turned to the TV. He thought it was strange Sousuke would be watching the weather channel, but considering most of the shows he watched involved cartoon characters, he wasn’t going to judge.

 

“Not a damn thing on right now,” Sousuke mumbled, almost as if reading Makoto’s thoughts. “I don’t care what I’m watching.” Was this his way of telling Makoto to change the channel?

 

“Most of the shows that I watch air on Saturdays,” Makoto said sheepishly. Sousuke turned to look at him again, still blinking slowly. “Uh, I usually only watch TV with my little brother and sister,” Makoto clarified.

 

Satisfied with that answer, Sousuke turned away again. They watched in silence for a few more minutes.

 

“So, uh, how are you feeling? How is your shoulder?” Makoto asked nervously.

 

“You already asked me that,” Sousuke responded.

 

“Well, not the second one,” Makoto said sheepishly. 

 

Sousuke sighed. “I can’t feel anything, except for the fact that I can’t move my arm at all. But, you should tell Rin that I’m doing fine and will be home in a few days.”

 

“I’m sorry about your arm, but I’m not here just because of Rin,” Makoto said, and the bored expression actually lifted off of Sousuke’s face. It reappeared quickly, however.

 

“Well…you should still tell him that.”

 

“I will,” Makoto smiled. “So, what have you been doing to keep yourself busy?”

 

Sousuke rolled his eyes. “Sleeping. Watching TV. I can’t do much of anything else.”

 

“Did you bring any books, or games?” Makoto suggested.

 

Sousuke made a ‘pft’ sound. “Do you have any idea how hard it is to hold a book when your dominant hand is basicaly glued to your bellybutton, Tachibana? And I can barely turn the page with my left hand, it’s so clumsy. And I don’t want my computer to get stolen while I sleep.”

 

Makoto felt sympathetic. “If you would like, I can come back and bring some activities for you,” he offered. Sousuke looked surprised again. Makoto felt surprised too; just saying the word “activities” made him feel a lot like his mom planning for a family car trip.

 

Sousuke didn’t respond, but Makoto had enough experience with sullen, dark-haired boys to know that anything that’s not an outright “no” usually meant “fine, do what you want.”

 

“Have you had many other visitors?” Makoto asked, before he could think twice. Sousuke looked annoyed again.

 

“My mom sometimes visits in the mornings. My dad is usually busy with work. He just calls,” Sousuke said, looking kind of distant. Makoto wondered if he was more annoyed at the question, or his parents.

 

Before he could worry about it too much, a nurse knocked on the door. “It’s time for a checkup, Yamazaki-san.” Makoto took this as his cue to leave.

 

“I’m glad I could visit you, Sousuke,” Makoto said as he put his backpack on. Sousuke didn’t look too put out by his presence, so Makoto took that as a sign that he was welcome to come back. “Would you mind if I came back tomorrow? I really will bring you something to help pass the time!”

 

Sousuke turned away, but this time he didn’t look at the TV. He seemed to be purposely looking away from Makoto. “No, I wouldn’t mind,” he said softly.

 

Makoto said goodbye to Sousuke and the nurse, and left.

 

**Rin, I just saw Sousuke, he’s doing well. He should be released in a few days!** (17:41)


	2. Monday and Tuesday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arts and crafts time with Makoto and Sousuke.

True to his word, Makoto returned the following day after his classes finished. In addition to the books in his backpack, he also brings some small jigsaw puzzles, a book of sudoku puzzles, and, much to Sousuke’s confusion, a paint-by-numbers set. He showed all of these to Sousuke, who seems at least mildly interested.

 

“I thought that you could do most of these things without much help,” Makoto explained while Sousuke inspected one of the jigsaw puzzles.

 

“The ocean? Really?” Sousuke snorted, ignoring Makoto’s idea and commenting on the puzzle he’s holding instead.

 

“Yeah, I saw it in the store and thought it might be challenging, with all the shades of blue,” he said.

 

“It only has 100 pieces,” Sousuke deadpanned. “I’m not 8.”

 

“I knew you wouldn’t have much space to work!” Makoto exclaimed, starting to feel flustered. Then, he noticed Sousuke’s smirk. _Ah, so he’s messing with me_ , Makoto realized.

 

“What about the painting set, Tachibana? I can’t paint with my left hand,” Sousuke said.

 

“Well…I thought that was something I could help you with,” Makoto explained, suddenly feeling self-conscious . What if he thinks it’s a stupid idea?

 

Sousuke was quiet for a moment, thinking. “Hm. If you want to see a disaster, then go ahead.”

 

It took Makoto a minute to realize what he meant. “Don’t worry! I can help you out. I’ve heard it’s good to practice using your weaker hand on easy tasks.”

 

Makoto went into the bathroom to grab a cup for water and a towel to wipe the brush on, but he swore he heard Sousuke mutter “I wasn’t worried” as he left. There was a small tray table that Makoto pulled across the bed. He set up the supplies- the book of pictures, the paintbrush, water, pods of paint, and a paper towel.

 

Makoto presented the book of pictures to Sousuke, intending for him to choose one. 

 

“How am I supposed to pick? They all look the same,” Sousuke complained. Makoto laughed.

 

“That’s the point, you’re not supposed to be able to tell what it is until you’re finished!” Makoto said, but still decided that it may just be easier for him to select one. He picked the very first picture in the set and removed the page from the book. “Do you know how to do this?”

 

“You mean, do i know my numbers and colors? Yes, I think I do,” Sousuke said flatly. Makoto was beginning to understand why he and Rin got along so well.

 

“Well then, pick a space and start,” Makoto said as he gestured to the brush on the table. Sousuke hesitated, then reached his left hand forward. Sosuke hadn’t been exaggerating when he complained that he couldn’t even turn pages with his left hand; he could barely pick up the small brush.

 

Once he had it positioned correctly, Sousuke gazed at the shapes on the page. After some consideration, he dipped his brush in the green paint and moved the brush (shakily) towards a triangular shape with the number 5 in the center. However, instead of painting the shape, Sousuke made a weird sort of smudge with the green paint. He lifted the brush to try and fix his mistake, but only succeeded in making the smudge into a long stripe that curved at one end. Sousuke sighed audibly, then looked at Makoto. ‘Look at what you made me do, I can’t believe this shit,’ his expression said.

 

Makoto tried not to laugh. “Here, let me help you,” he offered, reaching for Sousuke’s hand. With Makoto’s right hand over Sousuke’s left, they actually managed to trace inside the original shape and correct Sousuke’s original mistake. “See, that looks good! Now why don’t we try to get some of the other green shapes, since we already have that color?”

 

“Brilliant,” was all Sousuke had to say. Still, he didn’t object to Makoto guiding his uncooperative left hand over the different shapes with the various colors. Sousuke took particular pleasure in pointing out where Makoto had missed a shape with the number they were looking for. Makoto had been worried about Sousuke not wanting to more or less hold hands with him, but he hadn’t said anything. Makoto found that he didn’t mind, either.

 

By the time all the shapes were filled, Sousuke was getting better at actually coloring inside the lines, and Makoto’s fingers were dotted with different colors. Makoto was a little disappointed that they had finished quickly, especially when the picture was revealed to be…

 

“A cow. Eating grass. At sunset,” Sousuke pointed out unhelpfully. “I can see why you picked this one.”

 

“What? How was I supposed to know that’s what it would be?” Makoto cried. “And what do you mean, anyway? Why did I pick that one?”

 

“The cow must have reminded you of yourself,” Sousuke teased. He somehow managed to keep a straight face, but he couldn’t keep the smugness out of his voice.

 

“Are you calling me a cow, Yamazaki? Well, maybe I’ll just keep this for myself then!” Makoto retaliated, oddly enjoying the bickering.

 

“No way in hell, Tachibana. I worked too hard on this damn cow and its damn grass to let you keep it.”

 

Makoto laughed. “Well, when it’s dry maybe we can call an art gallery.” Sousuke nodded his approval. “But I probably do need to be going. I enjoyed this, Sousuke,” Makoto said as he cleaned their table. Sousuke hummed noncommittally.

 

By the time Makoto was picking up his backpack to leave, Sousuke seemed subdued again. “Sousuke, I really did enjoy painting with you today. I hope you can use the other puzzles when you get bored.”

 

Sosuke nodded, but didn’t respond. “Goodbye,” Makoto said.

 

“Bye, Makoto,” Sousuke said quietly as Makoto walked through the door.

 

—-

 

When Makoto returned on Tuesday, Sousuke was sleeping fitfully. He was turned slightly to his left, so that he was facing the door when Makoto walked in. Right away, Makoto noticed a light sheen of sweat covering his face and wondered, _is something wrong?_

 

Makoto was startled when he heard a female voice. “Yamazaki-san is running a low fever,” a nurse explained, stepping in the open door. “It’s common in patients who are confined to bed for this long.” 

 

Makoto nodded and thanked the nurse. He decided not to linger, but left a new puzzle (a picture of some sharks) on his bedside table. He resisted the urge to grab a cloth and wipe Sousuke’s forehead, yet he wasn’t even sure where the urge had even come from. _I don’t know him well enough_ , he thought, before leaving.

 

"Bye, Sousuke. Feel better," he whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also went back and edited a few minor things in the first chapter.


	3. Wednesday and Thursday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Makoto keeps coming back, for better or worse.

When Makoto returned on Wednesday, Sousuke was awake and back to looking annoyed. He still looked pale, be nodded to Makoto as he entered. Makoto noticed that the cocoon of bandages around his shoulder seemed to be smaller. He was no longer hooked up to any machines, which Makoto thought was a good sign.

 

“Good afternoon, Sousuke. How are you feeling?” Makoto asked as he sat in his usual chair. Sousuke avoided looking directly at Makoto.

 

“You were here yesterday,” he mumbled, dodging the question. Makoto smiled, not wanting Sousuke to feel embarrassed. 

 

“Yes, but I didn’t stay for long,” he said. “Did you see the puzzle?” Sousuke grunted an affirmation. Finally, he looked over at Makoto, an unreadable expression on his face. For Sousuke to actually look at Makoto made him feel strange, in a way he couldn’t explain.

 

“Wait, don’t sit down,” Sousuke said to the sitting Makoto.

 

“Hm?”

 

“Walk around with me. If I have to keep sitting in bed, I’m going to lose it,” Sousuke said as he started to maneuver himself out of the bed. Makoto made a move to help him, but then thought better of it- Sousuke would never allow Makoto to help him. He managed to swing his legs over the edge of the bed, but still seemed unsteady as he pushed himself into a standing position.

 

After Sousuke stood, Makoto remembered why he was worried about visiting Sousuke in the first place- even slightly wobbly, Sousuke had an intimidating stature. But seeing Sousuke steady himself as he tries to step into his slippers makes Makoto feel something other than nervous.

 

He wasn’t sure what to call the feeling, but it was familiar. 

 

Sousuke managed to work his feet into his slippers without having to bend over, and Makoto thanked his lucky stars that Sousuke’s hospital gown wasn’t backless.  The feeling came back when he thought about it, though.

 

The two of them left the room, but Sousuke seemed unsure where to go. He paused outside the door, possibly waiting for Makoto to lead. Makoto remembered seeing some vending machines in a lounge near the elevators, so he picked that direction. 

 

Even without the television or a puzzle to distract them, Makoto and Sousuke didn’t talk much as they walked around the hospital halls. They reached the vending machines, which seemed to mostly have juice and water.

 

“Would you like anything, Sousuke?” Makoto asked. Sousuke looked away.

 

“Don’t have my wallet,” he muttered. Makoto bought two orange juices anyway, and handed one to Sousuke. Sousuke wordlessly handed it back to Makoto, who realized that he probably couldn’t open it with just one hand. They drank in silence.

 

“Sousuke, do you know how much longer you’ll be staying in the hospital?” Makoto asked.

 

Sousuke drank before answering. “Not really. The doctor just told me I’d need to start physical therapy before leaving, since I live alone. But I started that on Monday.”

 

“Wait, you live alone? I thought your parents live nearby?” Makoto was surprised, but he also had to admit that he barely knew anything about Sousuke’s family. They must be pretty different from his own family; Makoto thought that if he had surgery, one of his parents would have come to Tokyo to stay with him during his recovery.

 

“I moved out officially when I started university last fall,” he answered.

 

“Was the commute too long? I have a friend who has to take the train all the way fr-“ Makoto said, before being cut off in the middle of his sentence.

 

“No, the commute wasn’t long. I just didn’t want to be there,” Sousuke said forcefully. Makoto decided not to press it further. Sousuke finished his drink, threw the bottle in a nearby trashcan, and began to walk away, clearly intending to leave Makoto behind.

 

Except, he was heading in the wrong direction. It only took a few strides to catch up with Sousuke (Makoto had just noticed how slowly he was moving; was he tired already?), but Sousuke was determined not to look at him. 

 

Only when Makoto grabbed his wrist did Sousuke turn his head with a start, almost as if he hadn’t been expecting Makoto to go after him.

 

“Sousuke, that’s not the direction of your room,” Makoto said gently. Sousuke raised his eyebrows, but didn’t say anything as he allowed Makoto to lead him back towards his room. They walked in silence again, but it was slightly tense- Makoto didn’t realize that what they had before was a _comfortable_ silence.

 

Once Sousuke was back in his room, he carefully got back in bed. Makoto thought he looked tired, even from their short walk, but decided not to say anything. He did have one question that he thought should be safe to ask, however.

 

“If you don’t mind me asking, which university to you go to?” Makoto asked.

 

“Same one you do,” Sousuke said as he adjusted his blankets. Makoto didn’t recall mentioning where he went to school. Sousuke must have noticed his silence, because then he added: “Rin told me where you go. When he told me you’d be visiting.”

 

Oh. “Well, what are you studying?”

 

“Whatever I’m good at. You?” Sousuke said, actually turning to look at Makoto.

 

“Um, education. I thought I wanted to just be a swim coach, but now I think I might want to be a full-time teacher,” Makoto couldn’t help but think about how rare it was for Sousuke to look at him as he spoke. He was a little bit discouraged when Sousuke actually laughed at his answer.

 

“Of course you would have it all planned out. You’re just like Rin,” Sousuke said, still chuckling. Makoto blushed, but he couldn’t figure out why. “I didn’t know what I want to do, so I was just taking general courses.”

 

“Well, what kinds of classes are you taking right now?” Makoto asked, trying to move past his embarrassment at the almost-compliment Sousuke had just given him. 

 

“None. I’m on medical leave this semester,” Sousuke said. “Can’t really carry around books or write an essay when I can’t even paint some damn shapes.” But the corner of his mouth was twitching slightly upward.

 

“Well, when you enroll for next semester, maybe we could take a class together?” Makoto suggested.

 

“Okay,” Sousuke’s smirk was now a full smile. “If you take notes for me.”

 

“Only if you bring me coffee,” Makoto was smiling, too. 

 

—-

 

When Makoto returned on Thursday, Sousuke’s room was empty. The bed was made and Sousuke’s duffel bag and jacket were nowhere to be seen. He stepped back into the hallway, looking for a nurse to ask.

 

When no one appeared to answer his unasked question, Makoto left. He was distracted the entire way back to his apartment. _Where did Sousuke go?_

 

It wasn’t until later that his question was answered, by a text from an unknown number.

 

**This is Sousuke. I asked Rin for your number. I was released earlier today. I didn’t get a chance to tell you.** (19:52)

 

Makoto was considering how to respond when another message arrived.

 

**Thank you for visiting me.** (19:58)

 

Makoto smiled to himself. Coming from Sousuke, ‘thank you’ meant a lot.

 

**I’m glad to hear you’re at home, Sousuke! Please let me know if I can do anything else. :)** (20:00)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Director's cut: the scene for Thursday was actually the first part of this story I thought of, so I had that written before anything else.
> 
> Next chapter will be the last, and it should be out by the end of the weekend. :) Until then, feel free to hit me up at the-nippleking.tumblr.com!


	4. And Beyond

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sousuke finally stops being a baby and reaches out to Makoto. Is Makoto ever going to realize what that feeling is?

Despite Makoto’s offer, he didn’t hear from Sousuke for the remainder of the week. It wasn’t like he expected for Sousuke to actually ask for his help, and it’s not like he could go over to his apartment unsolicited (which is without a doubt what he would have done for Haru or any of his other friends), since he had no idea where Sousuke lived.

 

Even though Sousuke’s silence was not a surprise, the fact that Makoto missed seeing him was. They hadn’t been friends since elementary school, like Nagisa or Haru or Rin. Even Rei, who he hadn’t known as long as the others, had been a constant part of his life for two years. But Makoto and Sousuke? They didn’t have a ton in common. They swam and they were friends with Rin. But despite how different Sousuke was from his other friends, Makoto really enjoyed spending time with him.

 

Which is what Makoto told himself when Sousuke finally did text him again: that he enjoyed spending time with him.

 

**Are you on campus right now** (16:03) said the message that Makoto received roughly two weeks after Sousuke was released from the hospital. Sure enough, he was.

 

**Yes, I’m just studying in the library. Do you need something?** (16:04)

 

Makoto waited several minutes for a response, which made him think that Sousuke was having to swallow some pride.

 

**I was at therapy but I can’t get home** (16:07)

 

He wasn’t exactly “asking,” so Makoto decided to meet him halfway. **Would you like me to come get you?** (16:07) Makoto tried to respond quickly; if Sousuke was even implying that he needed help, it must be pretty bad.

 

Instead of a yes, Sousuke sent him the address of his doctor’s office. Makoto put his books in his bag and headed to the train station.

 

—-

 

When Makoto arrived at the address, he found Sousuke sitting in the waiting room. Sure, he looked surly and tired, but it wasn’t as bad as Makoto imagined. At least he was sitting upright. As soon as Sousuke saw him, he stood up wordlessly, walked past Makoto, and left. Makoto followed. He couldn’t help but notice that Sousuke seemed to be keeping his right arm stationery as he walked, not swinging it like a _normal_ person would.

 

Sousuke led the way down the sidewalk, and Makoto stayed a few steps behind him because it was clear that he was in no mood to talk. A few times, Sousuke slowed down and almost stopped, but Makoto wasn’t sure if it was because he was feeling bad or because he was making sure to go in the right direction. 

 

It wasn’t exactly a long way to Sousuke’s apartment and by the time they arrived, Makoto was beginning to wonder why Sousuke had called him. Sousuke unlocked his door and stepped inside, Makoto followed. They both removed their shoes, and Makoto figured he might as well ask what he’d been wondering. But if he’d learned anything in his time with Sousuke, he knew he couldn’t just ask directly.

 

“You have a nice apartment, Sousuke. And so close to campus,” Makoto started. Sousuke had his back turned as if he was planning to walk away, but Makoto was standing around awkwardly. Despite his claim about the apartment being “nice,” he could only see about five feet in the entrance.

 

Sousuke ‘hm’ed in response. Makoto decided to continue. “I hope you’re feeling better after your appointment,” he said, still not wanting to prod.

 

“I’m fine,” Sousuke finally said. “Do you want dinner.” It wasn’t really a question. It was close to dinner time, however, and Makoto was hungry.

 

“I wouldn’t want to be any trouble,” Makoto said modestly.

 

“I have to eat too,” Sousuke responded. “Where do you want to go?” Sousuke finally stepped into another room and Makoto followed him. They were in a small kitchen, which made Makoto appreciate how much space the two of them took up. Even without two tall and bulky men, there was a table and set of chairs already taking up space.

 

Confused, Makoto looked around; everything in the kitchen looked new enough. “I don’t have any food here,” Sousuke elaborated and opened the refrigerator, as if to make a point. The shelves were pretty barren; Makoto saw a single apple and a loaf of bread. There was more clutter on the counters than there was food in the refrigerator.

 

“Wait, so what have you been eating?” Makoto asked incredulously.

 

“Sandwiches…” he heard Sousuke mumble.

 

“Made from what, a single slice of bread?” Makoto scoffed. He may have been no expert, but he had at least gotten the hang of cooking for himself. “I’m going to go get you some groceries. I wouldn’t want you to start eating your towels.”

 

Makoto’s shoes were back on and he was out the door so fast, Sousuke couldn’t have protested. Even if he wanted to. 

 

But he didn’t.

 

—-

 

After Makoto returned to the apartment, he managed to put together ramen for the two of them. They ate at the kitchen table, silent save for the slurping noises Sousuke as he ate (which Makoto appreciated; he was still self-conscious about his cooking). Makoto tried to think of something to talk about, but his brain could only come up with unhelpful thoughts, such as “your right arm is basically a baguette right now” and “holy shit your mouth is huge.” Both were true, but probably not great topics for conversation.

 

He must have sensed Makoto’s discomfort with the silence, because Sousuke decided to speak again. “If you’re still wondering, I threw up at therapy today.”

 

Makoto choked (he _knew_ Sousuke waited until he drank some of his soup broth on purpose). “Gross,” he said, wiping his chin and laughing. “But you’re feeling better now?”

 

Sousuke nodded. “Now I am,” he said, looking directly at Makoto. He almost choked again, suddenly aware of how red his face must have been. Was Sousuke getting at something? Or was he just trying to tease him, like he had before?

Before Makoto could sputter out a thought, Sousuke rose and placed his bowl in the sink. When Makoto finished his ramen, he stood next to Sousuke and they washed the bowls together, along with the other dishes that had been left in the sink (Sousuke wasn’t particularly helpful, but Makoto appreciated that he was trying). With Makoto washing on the left and Sousuke (sort of) drying on the right, they finally had a comfortable silence. Until…

 

“You’re still red,” Sousuke remarked bluntly. Predictably, this caused Makoto to blush more. But something about Sousuke calling him for help and having dinner together had brought back the feeling Makoto remembered from the hospital. “You seem like you get embarrassed easily,” he commented offhand.

 

Not usually,” Makoto chuckled. “But to be honest, you made me a little, er, nervous. At first,” he admitted. It felt like as good a time as any to open up.

 

“At first? You mean, when we met?” Sousuked wondered.

 

“No…I mean when I first came to the hospital.”

 

“You were nervous about being around me, even when I was lying in bed with my arm strapped across my body and no underwear on? Please,” Sousuke said incredulously. Once again, he was looking directly at Makoto, but his eyebrows were raised and his head was cocked; instead of his usual annoyed, Sousuke actually looked concerned. 

 

Makoto sighed. He figured he might as well be honest. “I didn’t know you very well, and I was worried that…” Makoto trailed off, not sure how to vocalize his fears without sounding childish.

 

“You were worried that Rin would have not told me you’d be visiting,” Sousuke finished for him. Makoto nodded, embarrassed. “Well, that does sound like Rin.”

 

“Well, Rin used to make me nervous too, if that helps,” might as well keep the embarrassing thoughts coming, no point in stopping them now.

 

Sousuke laughed at that, looking relieved. “Really? Rin? Didn’t he cry at your elementary graduation?” As he said that, he turned to face Makoto. 

 

“Well, I thought it was sweet,” Makoto was embarrassed, and he doesn’t know why he felt compelled to defend Rin to one of his closest friends. “I guess you could say he was my…first crush,” whoops, that one slipped out.

 

“Your first crush?” Sousuke actually looked startled. “Really? Not Nanase?” Sousuke asked, and Makoto can’t help but notice that Sousuke was the one who looked nervous, for a change.

 

“Haru?” Makoto laughed, but Sousuke looked annoyed that he hadn’t answered the question. “No, Haru is more like my family. No, my first crush was Rin. But he had such an obvious crush on Haru, I never did anything.”

 

“Do I want to know if you’re talking about when you were in elementary school, or high school?” Sousuke still looked a little apprehensive.

 

“High school. After Rin came back from Australia. And stopped being such a…” Makoto trailed off, looking for the right word.

 

“Bastard?” Sousuke finished for him.

 

“Okay, fair,” Makoto laughed appreciatively. He shifted his weight, ready to get his last thought off of his chest. “But I don’t feel that way about him anymore.”

 

He caught Souske’s eye, and Sousuke took a step forward, closing what little distance there was between them. “Do you feel that way about anyone right now?” His voice was lower, more serious. Makoto swallowed nervously.

 

Sousuke was leaning close to him. For the life of him, Makoto couldn’t remember what he was about to say; he couldn’t even remember what he was supposed to be answering. All he could think about was that Sousuke’s eyes were the color of, well, something; Makoto couldn’t even think of any object that captured the exact blue-green color of Sousuke’s eyes. Soap? A crayon? At any rate, Makoto was entranced.

 

He couldn’t have moved, even if he wanted to. 

 

And he didn’t.

 

Then, Sousuke was kissing him. He barely had to lean his head down so that their lips were touching. Makoto still hadn’t moved, but Sousuke placed his good hand on the small of his back. That touch woke Makoto out of his daze, enough for him to realize that he should be moving he lips. So he did.

 

Makoto had no standard to judge this kiss by, but he thought he enjoyed it. And if the way Sousuke rubbed his back was any indication, he was probably enjoying it too. Makoto decided he should probably move his hands, so he placed one on Sousuke’s hip, and the other at the nape of his neck.

 

After several minutes, Sousuke pulled away. He looked breathless and Makoto imagined he probably looked similarly. Sousuke placed his left hand on the counter and looked pointedly at the wall; Makoto couldn’t help but notice that for once, he wasn’t the only one blushing. But for some reason, seeing Sousuke blush made Makoto feel good.

 

Since Sousuke seemed to have used up all of his tolerance for eye contact, Makoto turned away also. As his gaze wandered, he spotted postcards from Australia (definitely from Rin), a picture of the Samezuka swim team (probably from Nitori), and…

 

The cow painting.

 

When Makoto saw it, he audibly gasped. Sousuke turned and followed Makoto’s gaze. He groaned when he realized what Makoto was looking at. Makoto picked it up and said nothing, just beamed. Sousuke was lost for words too, he opened his mouth and closed it a few times before he sighed and turned away.

 

“Shut up,” Sousuke said to the wall.

 

“It really is a work of art,” Makoto grinned. Sousuke nudged him with his elbow. He was still looking away and blushing. Makoto grabbed Sousuke’s good hand and held it between both of his. To his surprise, Sousuke didn’t attempt to break away. 

 

—-

 

When the new semester started in April, Sousuke and Makoto enrolled in a literature class together, despite Sousuke’s protests at taking a class at 8 am.

 

On the first morning of the term, Makoto arrived with two notebooks and an extra pencil, just for Sousuke.

 

Sousuke showed up with a cup of coffee for both of them, and a smile just for Makoto.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I mean, what even are human emotions, anyway??????? 
> 
> I feel so awkward about Makoto's confession but if I had done it in a way that seemed natural to me, it would have taken roughly 10k additional words and no one wants that.
> 
> You can bug me about it at the-nippleking.tumblr.com

**Author's Note:**

> This is me trying to write something with chapters, instead of a tediously long one-shot. This is also me trying to apologize to Sousuke for how much I disliked him before the OVA.


End file.
